a turn in events

A turn in events.
(yesterday) I am promoted to 'Acting Lead', and Andrew to 'Acting Supervisor'. I wasn't elated happy.. 'Cos... it seems morbid to me. And... It doesn't mean anything to me now. 75cents increment per hour... doesn't appeal to me much... 'cos the responsibilities that hold.. may tip the scales of the 75cents per hour.

(today) The new F and B Manager forced me to do something against my wishes. There's this pair of girls in Deli, that when they work together, they just sit and talk and do minimal work. I just leave them be, 'cos I do not like bossing people around. People who knows me should know that I rather do the work myself than boss people to do it.
So this FnB manager asked me to, "Now that you are acting lead, I want you to go tell the girls that whenever there is free time, they have to scrub the walls.... I want to see you do that..."
Nahbei. How can I don't do it?! Obviously... now I know what "acting lead" means. It means that if I fail his test, I get demoted la. (in my opinion)
Well, I did go forward to tell them... under his watchful eyes.. But SOMEHOW he missed the action cos he was talking to someone else, and I think I didn't convey the message well to them(the girls) la.. what the heck?
At that point in time, a battled and weary me was just thinking to ask them to denounce this 'acting lead' shit thing. You think I covet after your 75 cents per hour meh?老娘没钱啊？！
I just hate to be forced to do things i hate.
And seriously speaking, I think I have failed the first "assessment". But heck it la..

But after serious thought, the rebel in me... just wanna fight it out with them. The more they want to demote me, the more I want to get promoted. 'Cos I know, the reason I got promoted was not thru' their recommendations, but through my direct boss. So, I think this FnB manager + "Shit-La" somehow disapprove of my Manager's decision...and perhaps they just wanna see me fall from grace.
**so touched that my manager....sees my hardwork..
(and I seriously think there's this race discrimination thingie.. a hunch thats not proven lah. So if thats the case, for my manager to put me up there.... i can only imagine the resistance she faced)

I gave some introspection into what happened, this "you go order other people to show your leadership" thing...
1. Leadership is not ordering people around. If you think leadership is that. you are very skewed. My style is a "servant leader and to lead by example". If I can't do it as a leader, there is no way I should demand that of the workers.
2. A hardworking person may not be a good leader. I was thinking... I felt oppressed when forced to order people around. All along, I thought I was capable, a good worker, no questions/doubts about it. Perhaps I was wrong about the capable part?
The first half of my life, I was a leader. Girls' Brigade Company Leader, Student Council's head, Wushu Ex-co....
But when I enter University, I decided I needed a break. Enough of the shouldered responsibilities. I just want to have a carefree and slack time. Perhaps this absence of leadership for these 5 yrs, I kindda lost it? Perhaps its just sleeping in me. I don't know..
3. 罢着 茅坑不拉屎。 Literally,"occupying the toilet bowl when you don't shit." I realise, americans, whether they have the caliber or not, when they are promoted, they are just content to stay at that position. Whether they deliver... is not important to them... Maybe I'm wrong, but thats what I think.. For me, its tantamount for me to deliver what's expected of me. That's the basis. Ar bo you promote me for what?? So I was thinking, if I ain't got it, when should I be a stumbling block? Perhaps I should learn from the Americans - no need to so responsible one la. Got pay rise can liao.
4. Haha, but does size matters in leadership? That Andrew is huge. But Deng Xiaoping was a midget. Heh heh.

Who knows what will happen tmr? Maybe I go in to work, bad news will greet me. "Sorry but we think you are not suitable to be lead." Like that is very xia suay one.. I rather "commit suicide than be slaughtered - but not without putting up a gallant fight" =) [literal meaning la] won't die one la. Anything happens I can just pack and leave here. No biggies.
Strange. I come here to live life as a vagrant, why become like tt?!?!?!
I must rest well and prepare to battle tmr. You want me to order people around, sure, no prob.
You better be fair in your judgement. I kena tested, the other one better be. Although he should have no problem... cos he is fond of bossing people and then shake leg himself. Bah! m|n you should know hor. Mahahaha